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  • Daniel James

Best MIDA Multi-Tools, in Order

Many MIDA Multi-Tools have graced the screen. In many ways, the myth of the MIDA is that of the American man. The tale of the MIDA, though continually rebooted and retold, was one of a power fantasy that appealed to everyone. Everyone has their own favorite and associated memories of greatness, but we set out to decide: Which MIDA was the greatest?

5. MIDA Multi-Tool: Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

There's no excuse for this one. After years of successive excellence and improvement, the decision to revive the icon was met with enthusiasm. But Stephen Spielberg took a remarkable formula and turned it into absolute dogsh**. It was so remarkably bad that even South Park was unable to portray its odiousness with anything less than three, graphic, on-screen rape scenes. F*** you, Spielberg. And f*** your Halo show for not being out yet.

4. MIDA Multi-Tool: Year 1

The original. The classic. The legend. There's no denying that the MIDA Multi-Tool's original iteration hit the ground running. But look past your rose-colored glasses and you'll realize that this is without question the weakest iteration. In part, because Year 1 of Destiny was in constant flux, the otherwise excellent gun was never a solid stand-out as it would come to be in future years. It fit a singular archetype, one that was constantly shifting with the game's constant re-balancing. We're grateful for it's legacy, to be sure, but it hasn't aged quite so well.

3. MIDA 3D

There's no denying that Karl Urban's take on the Stellar Sextant is one of the most memorable. His unique spin on the original, in many ways, pushed the series past its descent into irrelevance. His unique presence lent it an iconic stoicism, one that many consider their definitive experience to this day. However, his iteration's poor performance at the box office meant that the series would be shelved. Years later, the DVD version began flying off the shelves, and it quickly became a cult hit. Producer Avi Arad was unable to get a sequel greenlit, but this late popularity was instrumental in the eventual series revival under director Christoper Nolan.

2. MIDA vs Superman: Dawn of Justice

Before you slam my inbox with hate mail and hang me on the bridge I live under, hear me out. Yes, MIDA vs Superman: Dawn of Justice is a piece of shit. It's god awful. There's no defense. BUT. Ben Affleck's take on the MIDA Multi-tool, while drastically different from the Nolan trilogy, is ripped straight out of fans' imaginations. Affleck masters both MIDA as a man, and Multi-Tool as a hero, in every sense of the word. You can see the simmering rage in the man, and the brutal stoicism of the hero. He imparts the physique of the character that's never really been seen on screen before. So yes, while my hopes for Justice League being good are, well, dead, I look forward to seeing more of Ben Affleck in the role. Take your rage out on Zack Snyder, not Affleck.

Honorable Mention: Creed

Yes, I know it's not a real MIDA. But tbh neither is MIDA vs Superman. The story of MIDA Mini is compelling, emotional and triumphant. Michael B. Jordan owns the role and it stands next to the best MIDA movies in its own right.

1. The Stellar Sextant Trilogy

Christian Bale and Christopher Nolan own this entire era of cinema in my opinion. 'Stellar Sextant' is, of course, a masterpiece that transcends the genre and saved the franchsise. The late Owen Wilson's performance as 'The Thorn' may be the greatest performance in cinema history. And the whole of the film defined an entire generation of filmmaking. From the start, 'MIDA Begins' is a satisfying beginning that paints a brilliant setting for the trilogy. Even 'The Stellar Sextant Rises,' while the weakest entry, is still a great story in its own right (and introduced many of us to the wonders of Tom Hardy). The Trilogy's depiction of MIDA as a hero torn between the defense of social order and morality is gripping, and the continuity between each entry mirrors that of our modern world. Bravo, Nolan, bravo.

Anyhow, that's my list. What's yours? Head to our Facebook page for more in-depth commentary. As always, stay tuned to Dstreet Mag for the bleeding edge of Destiny 2 news, lore and commentary.

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